Hi Friends, we missed you, (blows air kisses). Alas, the wedding has come and gone, and Mr. K and I have returned from the honeymoon, on relatively good speaking terms and only slight use of harsh tones when I thought he had booked us a massage at a ‘happy ending’ parlor in Puerto Vallarta, but I’ll get to that later. So yes, it’s official, goodbye singlehood, we had some good times in the Jacuzzi, the nightclubs, and that one bar in Manhattan Beach that always had the cutest boys. I bid you adieu, it’s been swell, I shan’t forget all the good memories, and hopefully my friends don’t have the pictures to prove it.
The Recap After two weekends of events, I have to say, I will never touch alcohol again, scouts honor. Although it was pretty funny to see KC wobble out of her room the day of the wedding raising her fist cursing cousin Sandra and her damn Blood-Orange jungle juice-(something I haven’t seen since the college days.) But her hubs making sicky noises to her while her face turned green was pretty priceless. So, after a late start and a grumpy attitude we make it over to the country club at a blissful 9:00 in morning for a 6:00pm wedding. Oh, sweet hangover, how I curse you!! So There I am sitting on the french country inspired couch, listening to the classical music over the load speaker and trying not to use disrespectful tonal inflections when I learn that the groom’s tux was left at his house more than three hours away. Funny thing is, when they left his house, someone took it upon themselves to move his tux from out in the open to a small closet by the garage. And then packed the car, telling Mr. K that yes, his tux is in the car. Mr. K ” Are you sure?” His family ” Yes!”. So imagine his surprise when everyone in his family has their tux, but him. Crisis number 276, for our wedding day. So the best man saves the day by driving all the way back down to grab the tux while Mr. K has a minor meltdown and is shouting at his parents for ‘hiding’ his tux. Stress level has moved from a 7.5, to a 12.
Most Memorable Moments
- Placed the ring on the wrong hand of Mr. K. Even though I secretly whispered is this the right hand because I was so fricken nervous. He proceeds to tell me AFTER I had placed it on the wrong hand and had to switch it. No problem, all of our 250ish guests, probably missed it.
- Crying with my hair teased high, and sans make-up when my girlfriend handed me a sweet card because I was tired and hungover and couldn’t get it together.
- Forgetting to grab my soon to be hubster’s arm and instead held his hand awkwardly throughout the ceremony, making us look like teenagers.
- Learning that some class 1 A-hole spilled red wine all over our $1200 cake. And yes, shouted the price out loud when I approached the cake and saw the stained waterfall of dark burgundy alcohol over the top three layers.
- Getting a little too happy off champagne and making overly dramatic exits and entrances with my french-bustled train, thinking it was funny to act like Scarlet O’Hara.
- Riding ATV’s in Puerto Vallarta on our 7 day cruise to Mexico, then telling Mr. K that I get major butch girl points while flexing my biceps and pointing to my dust covered body. I’m such a badass.
- Having to drop trou in a massage parlor in Mexico that didn’t actually have rooms with walls but loosely hung fabric that swung in the wind whenever anyone walked by. (And not giggling when Paulina my masseuse started to massage the ‘ladies’ and spread my legs in awkward positions that would cause my tiny towel to drop. But not to worry, they had a sign posted in English that stated any misconceptions the customer about this being anything other than a professional massage parlor was on the customer and they would be asked to leave and pay the price in full.
- Watching Mr. K’s face turn purple as the “pig beasts” (his term) acted as though this will be their last meal on earth and we had to hold hands in order to avoid being stampeded at the buffet on the cruise ship. Then have to listen to Mr. K rant on about the pig beasts while I stare longingly at the dessert table.
- And finally, to the best damn bridesmaids out there (KC does princess wave), that danced the night away in saris, and didn’t even complain once!
xoxoxxo
Mrs. K and KC
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Awww…..*wipes tear* That almost makes me hate weddings less. *sniff* We missed you *blows nose loudly* Oh dear, KC, was that your shirt?
Anyhoo……really? Someone spilled wine on your cake?! WTF?
Oh, and you two look so very pretty in the pic. Let’s hear it for hot twins!! Holla!
the bridesmaid’s outfits are STUNNING! Im glad it all went well and CONGRATS!
It sounds like the wedding was beautiful! How does some one spill wine on a wedding cake? That must have been some reception!!
The pic is beautiful! And I hope the A-hole will never hear the end of messing up the cake!
*sniff* Your both so beautiful. Missed you all so much.
I have to ask how the hell do you spill wine on a wedding cake? And did you nail ‘em in the nuts for it? And lets here more abt this massage parlour sans doors.
Congratulations! Beautiful picture and sounds like everyone had a great time.
My brother and his wife went to a massage parlor around the corner from their house – their first clue something wasn’t right was when the employee locked the door behind them then made my brother and his wife go to two different rooms to get their massage. When the masseuse tried to give my brother a happy ending, he told her “uh, I think you need to talk to my wife about this..”
Beautiful picture
So glad everything went off well – besides hangovers and stained cakes
Welcome back!!!
Missed you evil woman, KK tell me you got video to complete our plan of KC actin a ‘foo. Congrats again, beautiful dress!! Evil assholes shouldn’t be near red wine..but maybe they knew you loved your some vampires?
Awwww, beautiful pic!!! Congrats honey!!
From the sound of it, you enjoyed every minute of it ~ even the “not so good” moments!! But those are the ones you will remember for the rest of your life!!!!
And don’t worry… I found the person who did the screw up of your fountain and I beat them up!!!
LOL!!!
Rest and recoup and get back here!!!!!
xoxo
Cecile
LOL!! I got a little weepy reading your re-cap.
Now it’s all over and everyone can relax and enjoy being a married smug ugly as Bridget Jones fondly calls them.
@Queen B I know, some a-hole spilled wine all over K-Khan’s cake BEFORE they cut into it. Can you believe it?!!!
@Stella I didn’t want to take it off – usually with bridesmaid outfits I can’t wait to chuck in the back of my closet, but not this one. I luvs it!
@Colette if only we had a nanny cam then we could find the culprit, alas I didn’t think of that
@Kindlelicious despite the red wine extract I had two piece of cake, I don’t let a thing like alcohol stop me from eating cake. Yes, indeedy.
@tori aka ggs_closet funny thing is, there was no wine spillage on the table, only the cake…weird
@Patti Oh. My. God. *jaw drops* Seriously in the US they have Happy Ending massages?
@Mandi never again will I drink mandarin vodka *throws up girl scout honor*
@ Nat (Wicked Lil Pixie) I made sure K-Khan put in the wedding invitation no video cameras. I can’t have people see me doing the chicken dance.
@Cecile *sniffs* you are good people, beating up the bad people.
I’ve missed you all!!! Being trapped in a tiny stateroom aboard a cruiseship wasn’t really speaking to me on day 7 of our cruise. Don’t get me wrong I’m truly madly deeply in lurv with my new hubs, but please, no more smexytime, drinking, or eating at the buffets. It was just too much.
As for the a-hole who tossed red wine over my cake, I will hunt you done, you mother f-er.! I am composing an e-mail to my DJ as we speak, otherwise known as Jason Jazz (no I am not making that up). If anyone has the 411 on who did a nasty to my cake, I think it would be him. I have my suspicions… Mr. K’s uncle T makes the top of the list.
Did you get a towel animal each night in your stateroom as you engaged in some sexytime?
Congrats on your wedding Mrs. K! The pic is awesome – I love the saris! I love that they had a sign at the message place explaining that there are no happy endings! That cracks me up. I used to get massages but one of the times I went the woman who was giving me a massage had big breasts and while she massaged my back my head was nestled tightly between her breasts, thankfully I was resting on one of those donut pillows or I wouldn’t have been able to breath.. after the breast nestling incident though I haven’t been able to go back for a message.. nothing can be the same after that
@ katiebabs HA! Yes, and my favorite had to be the hanging bat wearing my hubs shades. It did feel wrong to have smexytime in front of the child-like towel animals.
@Heather (Darkly Reading) My masseuse did brush her bosoms on me a time or two, but no where near the life threatening instances of your massage. Although, I was a tad excited/uncomfortable? with the boob massage she performed on me. Definitely made me glad I read the no happy ending declaration at the beginning.
@ KC remember when I grabbed my nethers dancing to Michael Jackson, Oh, and when I pretended to have a hat on and shouted out “I’m the gentlemen caller” in reference to the hip hop artist NeYO, even though the album’s name is actually Year of the gentleman. :sniffs: Good times, good times.
@Heather maybe your massage lady was trying a ‘new move’ called the boobie massage. How on earth you can’t feel when your boobies are rubbing up against someone is beyond me.
@K-Khan I think I may have executed a high kick when Thriller came on *sigh* and I also had to lead when Mr. Smokin’ and I were slow dancing.
@KB on one cruise they made a monkey out of a towel and hung it from our ceiling. Cute.
Wow, you looked awesome Mrs.K-Khan and i heart the bridesmaid dresses, no pastels for them
That massage sounds like an adventure all on it’s own…I mean, your ladies? If I think what you mean with “ladies”…LOL That isn’t exactly standard massaging area’s right? Or am i a complete greenhorn here with that question *eek*
Awww. Congratulations!! You are a stunning bride and those bridesmaid dresses are beautiful. Glad everything went well (for the most part) .
xoxo
Welcome back! You look absolutely gorgeous! Question: What color are your flowers? They’re stunning!
I love the recap!
@ Leontine I’m just as surprised as you are. No wonder they have a sign to avoid any ‘misconceptions’. I thought I was going to have to awkwardly try and converse in Spanish about no Happy Endings for me. Lol, not really a pastel person so it was bright reds, dark purples, and burnt orange linens, it was like the sun exploded in our reception hall.
@FV For the most part, from what I can remember things went well. I’ve been trying to get my mom to give me all the behind the scenes gossip! Apparently a certain person will not be invited back to our lil sis’s wedding if she chooses to have one. :snap:.
@Kati The flowers were dark chocolate cala lilies, and black dalias. Or maybe they are called burgundy cala lilies, I don’t really remember. All I know is that our florist gave us a great deal. So worried we were going to end up in Platinum wedding territory, and we just don’t fly that way.
Squeee!!! Glad you’re back, girls! You make a beautiful bride and bridesmaid
How is it that these things that happen to you always make me smile? LOL!
I heart your recap and those memorable moments are sure very memorable! And somewhat hilarious
Your wedding and honeymoon sound insanely beautiful. May the two of you make many more hilarious, exciting, crazy, happy memories together! No more booze for you!
@Janna (EroticRomReader) I started to have twitter withdrawals about 8 hours into my vacation. Hubs caught me sneaking downstairs to the hotel lobby’s free internet cafe.
@Julia Rachel Barrett From now on I just say no to any and all alcoholic beverages. Honestly the woman that made that fruit punch from hell, should warn peeps the next time it tasted like sprite *sighs*.
@K-Khan wait, what? Who isn’t invited to Louey’s wedding?! I need details, Mom never tells me this type of gossip.
What a great post! And a stunningly beautiful wedding photo!
Congrats!!
MsM
WELCOME BAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!
The wedding dress and bridesmaids saris are made of WIN!!! Beauuutyful!!!
Putting the ring on the wrong hand, shouting out the price of your $1200 cake, making dramatic entrances and exits is AWESOME.
IDK what to even say on the massage parlor experience other than… EW!
Congrats to you and we’re happy to have you both back – Twitter sure is super quiet without KC around
XO
-P
Yay! Congratulations!!! You both look so beautiful and what a gorgeous day to be married!
I remember being shakey and nervous at my wedding too. Embarssingly enough, I sobbed – not cried – but sobbed from entrance to exit. You’d have thought I was being forced to marry the groom! My husband ribbs me about it still to this day, even six years later. I’ll never live it down. I don’t know what came over me but I just couldn’t stop crying. What gets me is that my husband is the cry baby out of the two of us. He was supposed to be the watering pot, not me!
Glad to have you both back!
(((HUGS))) VFG
@Elizabeth Jules Mason I told K-Khan I wanted hazard pay for all the heavy lifting I did with her wedding dress.
@Pamela ( SpazP) You can’t see it but I’m hiding my kindle under my sari. Kidding *whispers* not really.
@VampFanGirl there is something about walking down the aisle that scares the crap out of most brides. I remember having this sudden fight or flight mode. I wanted to flee & run screaming in the other direction just from nerves. Next time hubs & I renew wedding vows, I’m standing at the alter and he WILL walk to me!
Aw, congrats!! *sniff* So beautiful!
**throws confetti and whistles** Congrats! I’m glad everything turned out! Everyone looks terrific.
@Chris For once in my life I really do sparkle (KC closes eyes and lives out her Twilight fantasy) er I mean the sari.
Thanks @Donna!!!!!
Those saris are just gorgeous and K-Khan, all that torture payed off because girl you look gorgeous. Did you kill the person that spilled wine on the cake? In regards to the buffet rant from Mr. K-Khan, I went on a cruise once and piled up my plate with sconces of all flavors as my husband gave me the evil ‘pig beast’ stare but COME ON, when does a girl have readily available pans full of sconces? They were divine.
Good to have you gals back!
Oh my! CONGRATS to K-Khan! That pic is BEAUTIFUL! Even if we can’t fully see your faces, you can tell that is a beautiful wedding party! Love the post and glad to have you back.
Now where is my hot hawaiian guy?
I just stumbled upon your blog. And I love it! I’m now a follower, yay! And the bride I might add is very beautiful.
I see you are a Patricia Briggs fan. She is going to knock your socks off when you read the Alpha and Omega/Mercy Thompson series if you haven’t yet.
Book Lovers Delight has a few post honoring Patricia Briggs. Come check it out.
- Karina
@Melissa darn it, I knew I forgot something
@Mar all bets are off when (cruise ships) have that midnight dessert display. I’ll go back for seconds, thirds, hell I ask them to make me a doggy bag.
Congratulations Mrs. K! Oh it sounds like such a normal, yet great wedding! I can imagine getting tired of everything by the 7th day. I learned my lesson in the first one i went too, from now on i take flights not cruises.
Seriously KC, no more alcohol? I think you should try some apple martinis, before you decide to quit!LOL
@Rossy *sobs* I can’t drink apple or pear martinis anymore. Stupid pampered chef party (FYI expensive bakeware) I didn’t realize I had no dinner and 3-4 drinks later I was passed out on the couch cursing apple pucker (note to self do not throw pampered chef party & drink martinis. It causes KC to pull out the college year book and show to my co-workers.
@ Mar I have a plan of attack for the wine spiller, justice will prevail! :pumps fist in air:. Mr K is a bit of a hypocrite seeing as how he went down for pizza and chocolate chip cookies every night at 12:00am (even though we had already had dinner). I think he was stress eating because the couple we sat with at dinner might have been swingers and kept inviting us back to their stateroom for wine. We were running out of excuses by night 6.
@ Melissa, I have several groomsmen that might be available.
@ Karina Welcome, hopefully KC and i don’t offend with our potty mouths and TMI moments.
@ Rossy I think had Mr. K and I invibed in alcohol we would have been better off. But given the two straight weeks of ‘events’ (aka. alcohol overindulgence), we just couldn’t bring ourselves to touch the stuff. Next vacay we’re bringing other peeps so we don’t have to worry about being attacked by would be swingers.
Pretty picture! Welcome back and congratulations.
I have fond memories of the train on my wedding dress so I know what you mean about all the prancing a la Scarlett O’Hara – you don’t get the chance to do that very often so live it up I say!
Sorry about your cake. Was any of it edible after? (We missed out on our cake altogether – they whipped if off our table before we had a chance to eat it – we were being friendly with guests) and then they THREW THE REST OF IT OUT!!!). I was sad. However, that was the worst thing that happened (could’ve been worse!) and it’s a funny story now. Sort of.
Congrats – beautiful pic..
You me laughing and sighing at the same time….
Welcome back ladies..
E.H>
Well…line those groomsmen up.