Choose Your Own Destiny Novel – Google Maps Can Suck It
22 Nov, 2009 in Young Adult Reviews 17 Comments 
I’m going to level with you, for realsies. I have a horrible sense of direction. I even get lost with Google maps and my lovely Tom Tom. Everyone in my family makes fun of me because they always know do the complete opposite of what I say. Well, with directions anyway. When The Book Vixen posted her review on a choose your own adventure book, I wanted in. She was kind enough to mail me her copy of What if Everyone Knew Your Name by Liz Ruckdeschel and Sara James. I was so excited to read it and give Google Maps the middle finger. F.U. Google, I got this.
Haley is a 15 year-old teen who moves at a pivotal point in her life to public school. Already Haley and I have a connection as I moved at a “sensitive” time in my life from Chicago to Orange County California – I still use the guilt card on my parents to this day. Haley faces the toughest choices of her life in her new life in New Jersey and I get to sit in the driver’s seat, font and center, for Haley’s HEA.
Destiny 1: Haley has a super cute, next door neighbor named Reece, who is like totally hot for a 15 year old. While waiting for the bus, Reece waves at Haley and just as she is about to slyly ask him to walk her to school, the “cool” girls arrive in a White Cabrilou and whisk Reece away. Does Haley call her Dad to give her a ride to school or put on her big girl panties and brave the bus? My Haley is not a wuss so I make her take the bus because we all know that cute, bad boys ride the bus. Haley meets potential new BFF Irene Chen.
At this point, it feels wrong to skip ahead to different pages. My OCD is kicking in and I want to turn back and read consecutively. But this {thumbs pointing at me} girl is throwing caution to the wind, unbuttoning the top button on her polo shirt and moving forward.
Destiny 2: Next, Haley has to choose to give into peer pressure and take art with Irene and sexy-bad boy Johnny Lane or take AP history? Who knows maybe Reece will be a brainiac and share a class with her. I choose art class.
Destiny 3: During art class Haley accidently upsets Irene by looking at her drawing which shows a very sexy Johnny Lane. Irene is upset and gets angry with Haley. Do I choose for Haley to run after and apologize to Irene? Or go home and talk to someone new. I agonized for like 10 freaking minutes on this part! Moving on, I choose for Haley to apologize to Irene so I could get the 411 on cutie Johnny Lane.
Destiny 4: Haley tracks down where Irene works at her family restaurant Golden Dynasty. After she apologies, the popular Reece-stealing girls pop in. Do I make Haley sit and meet the new girls or cultivate a friendship with Irene? Since I’m loyal, I make Haley stick with Irene. These popular girls are nothing but spoiled Jersey shoreites and Haley needs real friends.
Destiny 5: There is some mysterious graffiti going on at school and Haley recognizes the handwriting and thinks it might be her friend Irene or Shaun. She becomes suspicious of Irene’s behavior, should Haley tell the Dean her concerns? Uh hello, no one likes a nark! I make Haley run the other way from the Dean’s office. Jr. High is brutal, I can’t have Haley known as a nark for the rest of her school year. That’s like a thousand years in teenage time.
Destiny 6: I’m hit with another agonizing fork in the road. Is Haley better off with Reece or cute, camera shy Devon? Damn this is like Sophie’s Choice {pinches bridge of nose} I’m a sucker for the underdog, so Devon it is.
Destiny 7: There is a contest where the winner with the best art work will win a trip to San Francisco. Haley enters in Irene’s picture of Johnny Lane without consulting Irene. Irene’s drawing wins, does Haley fess up and tell Irene or wait till she finds out? This is my motto when you feck up you need to pull the humble card and say your sorry. Eating crow puts hair on your chest, or so I hear.
After fessing up to Irene, who by the way already knew, Haley is disappointed that Irene is upset and will not be taking her to San Francisco. My reaction is to tell Irene to suck it, but after holding my breath, Irene fakes Haley out {psych, made ya look!} and takes her to San Francisco.
The End.
So, uh, perhaps I should retract my earlier F.U. you statement, sorries Google. My Haley adventure sucked – I want a redo! I want a hot love triangle between Reece and Devon, I want drama with the cool mean girls ending with a cat fight complete with hair pulling and scratching. Finally, I want Haley to have her first kiss. You guys knew that I would totally re-read this and pick a different adventure, right? Cause that’s how I role. Alas, my hopeless sense of misdirection strikes again, I eventually end up at my destination… I usually have to do about 3 u-turns along the way. I’m u-turning Haley’s adventure and that’s that!
Many thanks to The Book Vixen for allowing me to hold her book captive for over 2 weeks *kissy noises* you’re the best.
Book Title: What if Everyone Knew Your Name by Liz Ruckdeschel and Sara James
Genre: Young Adult (340 pages)
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Sounds like a fun book to read. I remember a few similar ones when I was in school, they were always fun to redo and then redo again.
Oh, and I suck at directions too!
Why are there not more choose your adventure romance books? But not YA – I want choose your adventure smut!
@Donna *hug* glad I’m not the only one without a sense of direction
@Mandi I would buy a choose your smut adventure like that *snaps fingers*
KC…go write up that book your hinting at cause “hot love triangle between Reece and Devon” sounds verra good
Very fun! I loved the Choose Your Own Adventures books as a kid – now I’m thinking I want to read them again – do they have grown up versions I wonder?
@Leontine even with a YA book my mind goes into the gutter. I’m a lost cause.
@Joanna Mandi from smexybooks is campaigning for a choose your own adventure smut book and m/m version.
This looks so fun KC. As usual, you made it even more fun with your fab sense of humor. Although every time you say ’suck it’, I picture you with red hair. Not sure why. hehe
Mandi! Great idea! Choose your adventure smut! You totally need to contact a pub about this! LOL.
We got the same story! LOL
I’m with Mandi; there needs to be a CYOA *smut style* series.
@Fiction Vixen Kathy is my idol I worship the ground she walks on. I’ll be sending this your way shortly.
@BV Mandi always has the best ideas
Thanks for loaning me your copy!
LOL – I feel a blog post coming on…and I don’t have the best ideas..just the immature smutty ones
That’s why we all get along so well. We have ‘immature’ and ’smut’ in common LOL
That’s why we all get along so well. We have ‘immature’ and ’smut’ in common LOL!
ummm what the hell? I stuttered in a comment?
@Mandi @FV Mandi I do believe this is one of your best ideas this month.
oh good, not just me then. I can’t find my way out of a paper bag.
@jaymzangel LOL can’t find your way out of a paper bag. I get lost in my own frigging neighborhood, I’m hopeless.
@Mandi – I wrote some Choose Your Own Romantic Adventures. Some smuttier than others. Free to read, if a link to my site is acceptable: http://www.christinacrooks.net/Extras.html